Don’t Ask Don’t Tell?

One of the trickier aspects of being a subtle vegetarian was brought up by my blog buddy, Jul of Veggie Chic – do we as vegetarians or vegans participate in “don’t ask don’t tell dining“? In other words, should we explicitly request ingredient information from restaurants or should we just assume that if it doesn’t look like it contains meat, it probably doesn’t?

This is especially trick for us subtle vegetarians. Regardless of our reasoning for wanting our food choices to remain private, it can be difficult to inquire about ingredients and food preparation at a restaurant without tipping our hand. Most menus list some ingredients as a way to describe the various dishes on offer, but there is an understanding that restaurant diners do not demand full disclosure. This stands in contrast to packaged food, where most countries have laws regarding ingredient labeling and these are constantly upgraded with greater detail.

Personally, I do care about what is in my food.  I make an effort to read labels to make sure the items I purchase don’t contain suspicious ingredients.  I don’t do this because I’m a particularly political vegetarian (I’m not, but that’s a different story for a different day) but rather because I have decided to be a vegetarian and refuse to compromise without a good reason.   If I was stranded on an island or lived in a hunter/gatherer society, I would not be a vegetarian.  But I live in the United States in the 21st century, time and place of the greatest abundance of food the world has ever known, so there is no reason I can’t eat (or not eat) anything I decide to.

What do I do at a restaurant?  I try to remain a vegetarian.  Despite my subtle choice, I do assess the menu items for likely hidden meat products.  Soups are always suspect, as are risotto, cream sauces, and “stuffed” foods.  I always ask the wait person if these items are vegetarian, and request that they go find out if they are not certain.  Wait staff are usually very helpful and vegetarian friendly, and are often vegetarians themselves!

When it comes to more basic foods, I usually assume their content based on experience.  Marinara sauces almost never contain meat, sandwiches and salads usually list their full set of ingredients, and so on. If I order one of these items, I will not ask or tell, but I will certainly send it back and ask for a replacement if I find a surprise, like that one place in Massachusetts that puts ground beef in the marinara and puts (real) bacon on all the salads.

Yes, asking and telling ruins subtlety, but I suppose the subtle is less important to me than the vegetarian in the final analysis.

And of course sometimes this just doesn’t work. The other day I ordered the “Grilled BLT without the bacon” at Applebee’s (the kids love their 3 veggie choices!).  It came with the bacon on, and I asked for another without bacon.  The wait person came back in about 3 minutes with a suspiciously molested-looking sandwich…  Yes, the kitchen simple removed the bacon and sent it back out, and she knew they had done this!  Sheesh – what if I was allergic?  Or Muslim or Jewish?  They got me a fresh one, and took the whole thing off the bill…

Overheard:, , , , ,